Honesty

I was recently playing a game called Mafia with several of my friends.

A brief explanation of Mafia for those who don't know the game:
In Mafia a card is dealt out to each player (minimum of 7 players needed) and depending on which card you get you are either a mafia member, a policeman, or a townsman. The game is begun with an open debate. Players debate on who they think the mafia are, and then end the debate by taking a vote. One person is "executed" by majority vote, and becomes the spokesman who runs the game. Every night the mafia kill one person, and the spokesman reveals the identity of one person to the police. Every day another person is executed by majority vote. This continues until all the mafia are dead, or, only mafia are left alive.

So, me and some of my friends are playing mafia. In the particular game of which I wish to speak, I was one of the mafia. Fairly early in the game my partner is found out and executed, while I am suspected deeply by several key players. But when it comes down to end I manage to convince those of my friends still in the game, that I am innocent, not mafia, they execute the wrong person, and I win. So there I am, I just played the game extremely well, winning despite what was a nearly unsalvageable situation, and I feel, well, just bad. I found something out right there. I found out that night that if I want to be able to tell myself, my friends, and my God, that I am an honest person, I'm going to have to be honest all the time. Even when everyone is expecting me to lie (that is the game after all), I have to be honest. So, I'm not going to be playing Mafia anymore. When you realize the choices are, simply put, winning by deception and betrayal of trust, or losing, the game sort of loses it's appeal.